Anyone else addicted to their phone, computer, or tablet?
I'll be the first to admit that I love technology. Google is my go to and my smartphone is my lifeline. I would say I average a couple thousand texts in a months time, social media sites get checked at least once an hour and my phone never leaves my side. It's the best and worst thing to ever be invented. Now a days people spend more time on their phones communicating in some way, shape or form. For some it's a guilty pleasure.
I use my phone for everything, from banking to blogging. What I don't use my phone for is anything that would jeopardize my marriage. I don't have hidden apps, files, pictures or contacts. I don't delete texts because I'm afraid someone will read them. I also don't keep it on silent nor do I panic or get angry when someone reaches for my phone. My husband and children know my pass code and they can use my phone anytime they please.
If my husband was to go through my phone or take it for a day I wouldn't be risking my marriage. My web history isn't too juicy and doesn't get deleted hourly, daily, weekly or even monthly. If a person doesn't want you touching their phone it's usually because there's something they're hiding. I understand the whole privacy thing but if they are leaping across the room when you reach in the same vicinity as their phone that is probably a red flag.
My husband has done the whole hidden pictures, fake contacts, guarding the phone with his life thing. I'd like to think that at this very moment he has nothing to hide, and that if he and I were to switch phones for a day we would still be married at the end of that 24 hour period. Maybe I should suggest that! ;)
He has learned that texting other women can lead to trouble. It starts off innocent but can get out of hand very quickly. No matter if it's a mutual friend of ours or just a coworker of his. First it's a little compliment exchanged back and forth and then it escalates to asking questions to get to know the other person better. From there it leads to nothing but trouble. In the past when I have found that he was texting the same number over and over he would have excuses as to why he was getting texts at all hours of the day. Then the texting would completely stop, well that just meant it was time for me to dig deep. Sure enough I would find that he had downloaded apps to be able to hide communication with his so called "friend".
There should be no hidden friendships, apps, or anything else that would jeopardize your marriage. We have been there and done that when it comes to friends or coworkers becoming to close or needy. It's a dangerous situation and nothing good has ever come from it. Those type of people remind me of a stray dog sniffing around trashcans looking for their next meal. You may feel sorry for them and want to shelter them, but once you do they end up being more trouble than expected. Thanks to his shady past I can usually sniff those nasty strays a mile away. =)
I know some people have close friends that are the opposite sex, and for them it works. As for us...no freaking way!! I don't trust any female these days and if I'm being honest...I don't entirely trust him completely when it comes to other females either. I understand that our situation is different than most but it's something we both agree on these days. It makes life so much easier when he openly shares who he has been in communication with, and it's a way for him to continue to earn back my trust.
There is a line and when someone crosses that line it's time to cut ties with that person. In the past he has always had a problem being mean and not wanting to hurt someones feelings...now he knows it's necessary to distant himself from them. He's come a long way, and has learned that some people are just not worth it. For me he puts the cell phone down, shares details of certain situations to ease my mind and more importantly he knows that in order to make things work he must be willing to remain strong and choose his friendships very carefully.
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