If you hop on any social media outlet you see the good, bad, and sometimes ugly sides of relationships. Whether they are just dating, married, or divorced. Some air out their dirty laundry for anyone and everyone to see, while others keep quiet and only pop their heads out when something wonderful or unexpected happens. I am one who likes to keep the relationship private. I know what you're thinking..."You sure do air it all out on your blog though!!" Yes, I do. But that's different!! =)
My heart smiles when I see a couple that has been married for several years and they still like each other!! They give me hope that with determination and an abundance of love you can survive anything together. Those are the couples that we should all pay close attention to. I'm sure they have had their share of issues, just like any other couple. I like to listen to how they communicate, watch how affectionate they are and I just love to hear how much they have grown over the years as one. They are a true testament of what marriage is all about.
Then there are the young couples, you know which one's I'm talking about. The one's that can't keep their hands off each other, how they smile through their eyes when their partner walks into the room. I envy those at times because I'll be honest...I've been married almost 15 years and the "honeymoon" phase is long gone at times. We are still affectionate towards one another, but the "lust" isn't always there. The moments it is we respectfully keep it private for when we are alone, because after all...some things are meant to stay behind closed doors and not on display for everyone to see.
Lastly, there are the couples that are waaaay too comfortable with each other. They no longer feel the need to give their spouse compliments, affection, and at times respect. They've become stuck in the day to day life of marriage. Instead of healthy communication they talk at each other, not to each other. They expect their significant other to read their mind and sadly, gratitude and respect for one another is almost non-existent. The love may still there, but it isn't shown very often. Those couples have lost focus on why they fell in love in the first place. I may be wrong for saying this, but those are the couples that may be in the path of disaster.
We were that couple for a very long time. Life got in the way and we just found ourselves going through the motions of parenthood, work, finances and everyday life. Healthy communication was far and in between and it was more talking about what we didn't agree on or what we weren't getting from one another. We ignored major problems we were having. After so long of not appreciating each other, no longer showing our desire for one another and making excuses for not making time for US, we strayed from each other. Ultimately our lack of care for our marriage caused the door to open for someone to easily step in between us. By the time we realized we had a major problem it was too late.
Fast forward to now....
We make our marriage and one another a top priority again; we openly share our feelings as opposed to keeping them hidden. More importantly...we remain focused on one another and remind ourselves that when we don't do these things, we lose the bond we share. We strive to show our children and each other that the love is there and while we may not always agree on everything, we communicate and compromise. Sometimes we agree to disagree and that's ok. It took years of screaming at each other to get our point across before we learned that none of that was necessary or healthy. We now make time for one another and we embrace the fact that we survived something so horrific in our marriage. And we did it together!
