At some point in our lives we have all judged someone or jumped to our own conclusions about them without knowing their full story. I will be the first to admit that I have judged many and then felt horrible when I discovered that I was wrong about them or without knowing the full story about their situation. I try very hard now not to judge other's because I know first hand how horrible it makes a person feel, especially when it comes from someone you thought you were close to.
Over the years my husband and I have been judged by people that we thought would always be there for us and who loved us. We have been shut out of their lives and while it doesn't bother us now that we see how little we mean to them; we can however see the effect it has on those around us. It makes for impersonal conversations, awkward gatherings and not to mention it makes others get caught in the middle. We remain civil but I'll be honest...the entire situation sucks!! While I wish it was different I know things will never be the same. The damage has been done, words have been exchanged and stubbornness keeps a heartfelt "I'm sorry" from being said.
I will not get into much detail because the last thing I need is more reason for us to remain distant. I will say that I think it is sad that grown adults, myself included, can not let the past go and move forward to try and repair relationships. Sadly because of all this I have lost family members on both sides. They felt the need to tell me what they see that is wrong in MY life, what they see wrong in what MY husband has done and how WE should be living OUR lives. When I needed support, especially from family, I received criticism. There is nothing worse than having your own family shut you out in your deepest, darkest times. I learned very quickly who I could and could not count on for support. In the end all I can do is hope that if they ever need my support I will welcome them with open arms and not a judgmental heart. That instead of offering my opinion of what they should be doing I would instead offer them the comfort I needed in my time of need.
I honestly don't know what I would have done if it had not been to those that were and are still there for me, my children and my husband. Without their love and support I don't know that we would have been able to keep our heads up. I find comfort in knowing that we have a special place in their hearts as they do in ours.
Over the years my husband and I have been judged by people that we thought would always be there for us and who loved us. We have been shut out of their lives and while it doesn't bother us now that we see how little we mean to them; we can however see the effect it has on those around us. It makes for impersonal conversations, awkward gatherings and not to mention it makes others get caught in the middle. We remain civil but I'll be honest...the entire situation sucks!! While I wish it was different I know things will never be the same. The damage has been done, words have been exchanged and stubbornness keeps a heartfelt "I'm sorry" from being said.I will not get into much detail because the last thing I need is more reason for us to remain distant. I will say that I think it is sad that grown adults, myself included, can not let the past go and move forward to try and repair relationships. Sadly because of all this I have lost family members on both sides. They felt the need to tell me what they see that is wrong in MY life, what they see wrong in what MY husband has done and how WE should be living OUR lives. When I needed support, especially from family, I received criticism. There is nothing worse than having your own family shut you out in your deepest, darkest times. I learned very quickly who I could and could not count on for support. In the end all I can do is hope that if they ever need my support I will welcome them with open arms and not a judgmental heart. That instead of offering my opinion of what they should be doing I would instead offer them the comfort I needed in my time of need.
I honestly don't know what I would have done if it had not been to those that were and are still there for me, my children and my husband. Without their love and support I don't know that we would have been able to keep our heads up. I find comfort in knowing that we have a special place in their hearts as they do in ours.
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