Talk It Out

Relationships are tough, whether you're married or dating. You're going to argue and you'll say things you will later regret. You'll give each other the silent treatment and some nights you'll even go to bed mad. Your partner will no doubt make you mad enough to want to pull your hair out. There will be disagreements and times you'll give into something you don't want to do or agree with. There might even be times you want to walk out the door and never look back.

Welcome to sharing your life with someone else!! You go through all of the above (and then some) with your significant other and the big question is....WHY?! I'll tell you why. You love them. You adore them. You cherish the good times spent and there's just something about them that makes your heart smile. That is why you put up with them and that is why they put up with you!

Repeat after me..."I can't expect them to be perfect because neither am I. I have faults and I too can be a huge pain in the ass!"

It is no secret that my husband has a ton of faults. A TON!! I'm not perfect and who am I to constantly complain about him not being perfect either? If he's wrong, I tell him and he does the same for me, if we're feeling nice we do it with love. ;) When I'm in a bad mood he's quick to figure out why, as I am with him. We disagree at times and we try to find a way to compromise and not belittle each other in the process. Sometimes it's easier to just agree to disagree. When we have a problem we work through it together, even if it means we take a breather first.

Too many times I hear that couples are unhappy but yet they haven't told each other exactly why. If you can't be 100% open with your partner there is something wrong. It's easy to talk about how great things are going in our relationships but we have a hard time pointing out the bad. I sometimes think it's because we are so worried we may upset each other. The last thing we want is to make them feel judged, mad, sad or embarrassed, so we hold back. Instead of saying, "I'm not happy and here's why"..."you do this and I don't like it", we keep it to ourselves and let it build up until the day it ALL comes out at once.

That's the day we spit out regrets, point out faults and ultimately hurt the one we really do care about. The one that puts up with our imperfections. Unfortunately, we forget that part. It takes a lot of work and patience to make a relationship a succcess.

It's easy to walk away when things get tough but if you work through it together the reward is amazing! 

Talk to me, not at me

I remember the day my husband proposed to me, it was one of the best days of my life. For a girl just out of high school it was wonderful to think that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with ME! Do you remember those feelings? The butterflies in your stomach every time he brushed up against your arm, or the burst of energy you felt when he would call you and invite you to dinner or a movie. I was so naive, I believed that those wonderful, giddy feelings would never disappear. Then life happened...

You know...that thing that gets in the way of being that fun spontaneous couple. That couple that couldn't keep their hands off of each other. The couple that thinks everything the other does is just so darn cute.

Ahh...those were the good old days!!

We get so caught up with life that we forget what brought us together. I know I am guilty of losing sight of why I fell in love with this wonderful blue eyed guy that I call husband. We started our marriage young and in love, we bought a house and then had a child. Years later we added two more additions to our family and the time we once made for each other seemed to slowly vanish. If you have children you know exactly what I am talking about. Conversations that were once about your hopes and dreams are now about bills and what activities your children have for the week.
We spend less time getting to know our spouse, because let's face it...after years of marriage is there really anything you don't already know about them? YES!!



Believe it or not there is so much you can still learn about each other. As the years go by we all change in some way or another. Our outlook on life can change, circumstances can cause us to see things differently than we once did. Just simply asking "hi honey, how was your day?" can teach you something you may not know. Take the time to listen and ask questions, get to know your spouse, your friend, your companion. One day your children will be grown and you'll become empty nesters...and then what?

It amazes me that we have no problem talking to strangers, yet we sit in silence across the table from our husbands or wives. Instead of nagging about what they aren't doing we should open our mouths and minds to what they ARE doing for us.

Talk to one another, not at one another!