I lay in bed the other night just thinking about all the hurtful people I have encountered over the years. I have to admit that some people surprised me while others were no different than I first suspected. Yet I still gave them the benefit of the doubt. I think there are times we want to believe someone is a good person. They possess qualities we like so we dismiss the things that seem "off" about them.
As I lay there I started imaging what labels I would put on people and while it was fun to place faces with names I was also sad that I would even consider doing that to people I once called "friends." Not everyone I have been pained by was a stranger, as a matter of fact...very few were. I started thinking about how life would have been so much better for me if I had known from the first "hello" that I should have steered clear from them. I wouldn't have had to deal with the drama, dishonesty and ulterior motives from certain people. I wouldn't have been hurt and more importantly...my children wouldn't have had to be hurt by those that came into our lives only to ruin it in some way or another.
I was once the type of person that gave everyone a chance, I didn't like confrontation and I never wanted to hurt anyone. Thank God I am no longer that person. Being that kind of person is wonderful but it also leaves you vulnerable and naive. I've met several people that seemed to be the most caring, kindhearted person only to be the one that lived a life of lying, cheating and such selfishness that they didn't care who they hurt. Sadly, the man I married can be placed in that category.
A person's character defines who they are ALL of the time, not just when it suits them. I would admire a person much more if they were to be upfront and honest from the get go. And no, I don't mean with every handshake they should say "hi, my name is so and so and I have a history of being a (fill in the blank)." Although...wouldn't that be awesome?!? ;)
Sadly though, that isn't how life works. We must get to know a person and trust that they have the best intentions and that they aren't going to ruin the relationship we have with them. Whether it is our spouse, acquaintances or best friends. If we lived in fear that every person we meet is going to hurt us we would spend our lives alone and that's no fun! So instead all we can do is keep a watchful eye for those that surround us. I've definitely learned that some people have their Scarlet letter hidden very well, but I've also learned that sometimes it's in plain sight and yet we tend to still overlook it.
At the end of my little moment of wishful thinking I realized that as wonderful as it would be to know in advance what people are capable it would also take away opportunities for us to grow. It's by our experiences that we are who we are; if life and everyone was perfect it would be boring. We would never know the true meaning of friendships, love, and life.
I was once the type of person that gave everyone a chance, I didn't like confrontation and I never wanted to hurt anyone. Thank God I am no longer that person. Being that kind of person is wonderful but it also leaves you vulnerable and naive. I've met several people that seemed to be the most caring, kindhearted person only to be the one that lived a life of lying, cheating and such selfishness that they didn't care who they hurt. Sadly, the man I married can be placed in that category.
A person's character defines who they are ALL of the time, not just when it suits them. I would admire a person much more if they were to be upfront and honest from the get go. And no, I don't mean with every handshake they should say "hi, my name is so and so and I have a history of being a (fill in the blank)." Although...wouldn't that be awesome?!? ;)
Sadly though, that isn't how life works. We must get to know a person and trust that they have the best intentions and that they aren't going to ruin the relationship we have with them. Whether it is our spouse, acquaintances or best friends. If we lived in fear that every person we meet is going to hurt us we would spend our lives alone and that's no fun! So instead all we can do is keep a watchful eye for those that surround us. I've definitely learned that some people have their Scarlet letter hidden very well, but I've also learned that sometimes it's in plain sight and yet we tend to still overlook it.
At the end of my little moment of wishful thinking I realized that as wonderful as it would be to know in advance what people are capable it would also take away opportunities for us to grow. It's by our experiences that we are who we are; if life and everyone was perfect it would be boring. We would never know the true meaning of friendships, love, and life.
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