I Love You, But...

Not enough to tell you or any else the truth.....

As a betrayed spouse it's hard to know that your husband/wife tells another person they want and love them. They tell them anything and everything it takes to make that person believe they are special and they are the only one they want to be with. All the while they are at home telling their spouse the exact same things. The only difference is they are more than likely bashing their spouse, complaining how miserable they are and how they want to leave them but just can't for whatever reasons.

Little does their affair partner know that more than likely they had every opportunity to leave anytime they wanted. Nothing holding them back or tying them down. They may say that but in my opinion that's just their way of being too cowardly to actually leave their spouse for someone they know they have no desire of a future with. The affair partner is just a temporary fix; someone who is willing to devalue themselves until they get tossed aside by the very person that promised them everything they never intended to deliver. Almost like a toy, you get bored with it and then move on to something else that looks more fun.  

My husband is the perfect example of that type of person. He has always said he felt that I guilted him into staying with me, that I would take his children away from him, his family would disown him, I would take him "to the cleaners" for every dime he has...the list goes on and on. I will admit that years ago, I did try and change his mind, I did beg him to stay; I reminded him of what he would be losing and asked him if that's what he truly wanted. As time went on, and even to this day I tell him that I will no longer beg him to stay, he can have whatever he wants and I would want nothing more to do with him if he were to leave. That is my personal preference; I couldn't face him knowing that he was no longer mine. I have given him an out many times if he was or is unhappy and with that comes no guilt, begging, sympathy or strings attached. He knows and has always known that he is free to go and do as he pleases with whoever he chooses. 

I know he held that truth to others, he has admitted to me that he blames me when he has to explain why he has said he "has" to stay with me. He makes me out to be the bad guy that is twisting his arm to stay, the one who MAKES him stay or he will lose everything. Isn't it funny how that happens? **eyes rolling** It just proves that anyone stupid enough to have an affair with a married man will fall for anything! Honestly, it pisses me off when I hear a person say "he/she is only staying with their spouse because they are being forced to." or "it must suck to be so miserable and HAVE to stay or they'll lose everything." Come on, how ignorant can anyone really be to believe that? Well...never mind....this is the same person who is willing to be with a married person.

I know it's ridiculous to believe my husband, or any person willing to cheat could actually be a liar! (Sarcastic tone and more eye rolling)

The truth is...when you are starting a relationship based on lies and deceit do you really trust you can believe ANYTHING they tell you? I'll give credit where credit is due...if you don't know they are married you will believe what they say. However, if you know they are married and you think they are feeding their spouse lies and you the truth you are a damn fool!! They may tell you they love only you, you're beautiful, you're special, you make them feel loved and wanted. Be honest with yourself...did they leave you to go back home to their spouse? IF they really felt all those things about you they wouldn't be lying to you in the first place and they sure wouldn't be returning home to their spouse every night. They would leave their spouse and live that life they promise you, instead of the one they claim is sooo miserable. 

I have asked my husband, before writing this post as a matter of fact, if my take on it is correct and his response was "yes". Saying what a person wants to hear is a guarantee that they will agree to continue seeing you. They are merely just another distraction until the next willing body comes along. It's a sad, sad game that is played and unfortunately there are no winners.