In that post I was too busy bashing and wishing karma would take its course on those that have hurt me and as I read it to him he stopped me and said "it sounds like you want to leave me and are still miserable." The truth is that I'm not miserable. Yesterday I had too much time on my hands and that left my mind to think, which resulted in me having a miserable day. I sat and wrote while tears flowed, blood boiling with anger and pain causing my heart to break all over again. I was having a pity part and it was a good one!! After I was done I felt refreshed, I was no longer mad and it was as if my soul was cleansed. I had to let it all out, relive that horrible storm and when it was all done I embraced the rainbow above me.
I felt that I need to explain something to my readers and especially to my husband. I've written about some dark stuff, it's all real and there are no exaggerations in any of my posts. What you read is what my heart has felt, what I have survived. I went into this whole blogging thing with the courage and promise to myself that I would be completely honest with my readers. Whether it's two readers or two-thousand, there would be nothing but pure honesty. I may write about some pretty heavy stuff and I may even sound bitter or miserable but I am happy at this very moment.
I write about my dealings with infidelity, I live day by day and the truth is that I share what I have been through so that I can leave it behind me. I would be lying if I said that I was "over it" all, I don't think I'll ever be completely healed or can ever forget it all. I am human, I have days that I sit and worry about my husband's intentions, days I cry over the pain I've felt and there are even times I get angry at him because of what he has done to me. Since starting this blog I have fewer and fewer days like that...thank God! I know that sounds crazy because one would think that reliving the pain from the past would cause me to not be able to move forward but it actually helps. It's a release of emotions and once I let it all out I can in a sense bury it.
There are times I share my current feelings and thoughts but they don't mean I am unhappy in my marriage. I didn't realize until my husband pointed it out to me that I may be giving that impression. Or that people may be asking "why do you stay with him if you're so miserable?" I'm not, I am the happiest I have been in a long time. The storm has passed and we made it out...together!! I use my dark days as a chance to help others that may be in their storm right now to see that they will get through it. It may not end today but one day you will look back and see that you made it too. It gets better; you just have to be patient. I never thought I would be happy again but I am. I survived it and so will you!! 
