If we choose to remain where we are then we must learn to let go of past animosity, fear, doubt and insecurities. When we allow someone to control our every move, thought or feeling we are no longer doing for ourselves. We allow them to win, to keep control over us. Without realizing it we're closing the door to our own happiness. I've been silent for a while because I have focused all of my attention on myself, my husband and our children. We're all in a great place. In the past Thanksgiving has sometimes been a struggle for me and unfortunately my children. Several years ago we spent our first Thanksgiving without our protector, without our comforter. This year we celebrated all that we are thankful for and new beginnings was at the top of my list.
I'll admit that in the middle of my day, as my husband wrapped his arms around me I had a bit of a "relapse". For an instant I let our past get in my brain. I hugged him tighter and forced it out of my head. I wasn't going to allow anyone or anything to ruin our moment. I hadn't had those thoughts in quite a while, I've had to remind myself that I am in control of me. I control how I feel, I will not be my own worst enemy by rekindling that hurt that I have healed inside of me. I will not allow the past, insecurities, individuals, and certainly not allow doubt to find a place to linger inside of me. I am done!! I'm determined to live in the moment, to embrace my happiness.
I have been so blessed over this past year that I can't help but sometimes think that the man upstairs has me mixed up with someone more deserving. I'm still working on accepting that He really is mending my broken heart. That HE isn't finished with me yet!
I'll leave you with this one last thought....When you feel as though what hurt you takes you to that deep dark place remind yourself that YOU are in control. Only you can come out of it and only you can veer onto another path, the one you choose to design for yourself. For your own happiness.
