When Fear Turns Into Obsession

If you regularly follow my blog you've probably noticed that lately I haven't been doing much writing. It isn't by choice...I've been dealing with some personal health issues and one of the downfalls is the sudden loss of my train of thought. I'm doing well and while I have been trying to complete posts I've started, it is difficult to remain focused and actually finish what I am working on at the time. However, I was able to complete a post for today...I hope it helps anyone in need at the moment. =)

There are certain things that happen to us that cause us fear. It's natural to be afraid of something or to be afraid that something is going to happen. If we are so afraid of something we can sometimes become obsessed with the thought that it's really going to happen. 

For instance...if a person has been cheated on they fear their partner will do it again. That fear then turns into an obsession of trying to keep an eye on them, having to know where they are at all times, who they are spending their lunch break with or shoot...even wondering why they are spending so much time in the bathroom. It's an unhealthy obsession and one that consumes you more often than not. 

How do you stop?

I found that for me personally I had to hear my husband say "if you keep digging you're going to find something you won't like." My first thought was "you son of a goat, you're cheating again", but I quickly realized he meant I would continue to pour salt on old wounds. And I did. I became obsessed with "stalking" him that I started going back and I found places he had visited, old pictures and ugly details from the past. He was right, I had so many feelings resurface and he wasn't even doing anything wrong. I made myself miserable, which in turn made him miserable, and ultimately we were both back to where we had begun. I tried to keep quiet and not rehash old wounds, but my mouth would take over and I'd bring up his past all over again. I wasted so much of the present because I resurfaced the past. 

In order to let go of pain, heartache and the past, we must learn to end our obsession of trying to "catch" them doing something wrong. When fear takes over, and it will, it's always best to remember that we can't be afraid of what has already happened. Fear isn't going to change what choices they make, but it will get in the way of your healing process and in the recovery of rebuilding your marriage.